Derek Jeter Hates New York

I think that's the only reasonable conclusion.

Derek Jeter, the Truest of True Yankees, the Captain, the Heart and Soul of the Bronx, the Core of the Big Apple, the Lullaby of Broadway, the guy who does whatever it takes, and does all the little things, can't be bothered to make a small gesture to help out the city that loves him so. The title from Andrew Marchand of ESPNNewYork:

Jeter, Jay-Z not recruiting James to NY

As part owner of the Nets, you would think Jay-Z would be recruiting the shit out of LeBron, but who am I to question the CEO of the R-O-C.

My problem here isn't really with Jeter's unwillingness to reach out to LBJ, but his rationale. To wit:

"It wouldn't make sense," the Yankees captain told ESPNNewYork.com

Jeter hypothetically compared it to if he were going to be recruited by one of the Los Angeles teams and Magic Johnson called him.

"If I were going to another baseball team, how would a basketball player help?" Jeter said. "I don't play basketball. I have nothing to do with that."

I'm jumping around a bit in the article, but it seems like these two quotes are linked. Jeter recruiting LeBron "wouldn't make sense" because "[Jeter doesn't] play basketball". Does Jeter honestly think the Knicks want him to call LeBron to pitch him on the intricacies of Mike D'Antoni's offense? Or on what a sweet high pick'n'roll combo he and David Lee would make? No, here's what we are looking for:

"Hey Lebron, it's Jeter. Just calling to tell you how awesome it is to live and play in New York. I know you love the Yankees anyway, so we could totally be bros! We'll get you an extra-long sleeping bag so you can have slumber parties with me and A-Rod. You can come to all the Yankee games and sit with Minka in the players' section. You know my fiancee, Minka Kelly, right? Let's put it this way, if I had played my whole career in Cleveland, I'd be lucky to be fucking Minka Kelly's fat cousin from Toledo. I was a good-hitting and below average-fielding SS on a few championship teams, and I have been able to parlay that into $20 mil a year, my own future plaque in Monument Park, tons of endorsements and Lyla-mother-fucking-Garrity on my arm. That fat coffee-stain Peter King once said I was the greatest ballplayer he had ever seen! And he's seen Willie fucking Mays! Only in New York, bro, only in New York."

Get on it Jeter.